As I mentioned in my last post, I’m trying out this whole Presbyterian thing and it’s like a brave new world. Growing up Southern Baptist, I definitely felt like I “got” the church thing and knew what to expect. The church we are going to is definitely different – but in a really refreshing way. I’m taking my time to learn more about how they do things…and why it’s different and taking time to reflect on whether the difference is something that sits well with me or not. So far, so good…even though I’ve explored a lot of questions along the way.
Something new that happened after Christmas was an Epiphany service where we were all given these stars with a word written on them. The idea is these words were to mean something for us in 2016 as we started the new year. I had never heard of this before, but I immediately loved the concept and idea behind it. And I almost laughed out loud when I received my star with a word on it: TRUST.
I knew it was perfect for me and exactly what I needed a reminder of for this year. Our minister suggested we post it somewhere we’d see it often, so I brought it to work with me and posted it in my cube.
Basically the day after I posted it in my cube, I got word at work that my entire team was getting restructured. There was a period of several weeks ahead of me where things would be extremely blurry. I wouldn’t know what to expect in terms of my job, who my manager would be….if felt like the rug was pulled out from under me when I had my eyes closed.
But I opened my eyes and what did I see? That crinkled star pinned to the side of my cube reminding me….TRUST. I took a big breath and decided I would trust the process. Trust God had a plan….and in a more tangible way…that our leadership team had a good plan to get us through this.
It’s been about a month and things are starting to take more shape now. Because of that constant reminder to “trust” I have been moved to see the change as a unique opportunity to learn new things and pursue some new avenues in my current role. It’s not often you get a chance to take on totally new projects and learn a slew of new things in your current role. I’m trusting this is what is meant to be for me and my career.
There are about a dozen other examples of times when this word Trust has been a beacon of light for me so far this year…and it’s only Februrary. I am sure I could have gotten any word and found meaning in it – but again, I’m trusting the word was meant for me as a reminder to let go a bit. What’s that saying? Let go, Let God?
I’ve not been great about that as an adult. The never ending pressure to control everything, to avoid the bad stuff, to prevent negative things….it’s hard to let go of that pressure and just trust if I keep making good decisions that things will go as they are meant to be.
So the thing about trust is that trusting doesn’t mean that things will be easy, or that things will turn out okay. I’ve experienced some major let downs in the area of trust before…it’s hard to wrap your head around the idea that letting God deal with things doesn’t exempt you from pain, hurt and sadness. And many times, I think people give up for that reason.
So having this word in my cube and in my heart….it’s the reminder I desperately need on a daily basis that there IS a plan. There are bumps on the path to get there and I’m going to fall and get hurt along the way. In the end, it’s not my plan…I’m only a small piece in a much bigger puzzle. I had forgotten about that, and I’ve been steering my life solo for awhile without stopping to ask for much insight from God.
So this year is tough. It’s tough to break these old habits of only trusting myself. As I started my first day of a daily devotion last week, it was like getting a nudge in the side from God. Here’s what it said:
“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1
Faith can be simplified to mean trust. It’s trusting in God even though you can’t see, smell or touch Him. It’s trusting that he loves you and will always have your best interest at heart. Once you believe that he loves you, it becomes easier to place more faith in Him. How are you faithfully trusting in God?
Loud and clear, big guy. I hear you – loud and clear.