I’ve been on a soup kick lately. My hubby recreated my favorite soup from Olive Garden – the delicious Zuppa Toscana. His version was equally delicious and I think I ate about a gallon of it for lunch. Now i’m extremely full and probably make a swish swish sound when I walk.
After a a L-O-N-G day of work yesterday, I arrived early at work this morning trying to mentally prepare myself for an earlier appointment. That appointment didn’t show up, so that sort of sucked. I mean, I arrived early for nothing! It did give me time to sit and check my email while I sipped on my coffee, I guess. I just can’t wake up today. It’s one of those beautiful it’s-almost-Fall-days outside, and all I can think of doing is taking a blanket outside and lounging in the grass and letting the sun warm my skin. As I was taking what I would call a “slow walk” with my co-worker after eating all that soup, we were listing all the things this weather made us want to do. We both ended up listing things and then saying, “oh to be in college again!” College was certainly one of the few times in my life where I had gaps in the middle of the day to do things like go lay in the quad, or go out to eat at 2am in the morning and still maintain a normal life. When I do things like that now – it throws a huge kink in my life.
For instance, staying at work until 9 last night completely deflated me for today. I’m just tired and feeling a little down today (despite my delicious soup, of course). As I was walking to my car last night, a student who attended my presentation was walking with me and we were talking about how different a college student’s schedule is from a professional working person (for the most part – I’m sure there are exceptions). He was telling me his normal bedtime is about 2am. Oh, I remember those days. Now about the only reason I see 2am is because I drank too much water for dinner and I have to get up to pee. But when I asked him the last time he saw 6:30am, he agreed it had been just short of forever. I joked with him about enjoying the crazy schedule while it lasted – because once college is over and perhaps the first few years of working while you are still vibrant enough to go out on weeknights and still function at work the next day, it all changes whether you want it to or not.
I used to be a night owl. I would stay up so late. And I would get up early to get to work and just do the same thing over and over again. Now – I prefer to be in my bed all washed up and teeth brushed by 10pm so I can do some reading and be well on my way to sleep between 10:30-11pm. I set my alarm for about 6:42 (roughly, right?), knowing I’ll snooze at least once. Without fail, I struggle to get up every morning despite having 8 hours of sleep. What happened to that night owl who didn’t really require sleep? Perhaps I was more caffeinated than I remember in college?
All of a sudden, I’m just aware of some of these small changes in the type of person I am. The type of person I’m growing into…or growing up to be. I’m sitting here thinking that if I just could get home a little earlier I could get the floors swept and de-clutter the kitchen table before dark. And that idea sounds really appealing to me (not because I enjoy cleaning, but because that would mean that i’d be finished before I’d normally get home from work – SCORE!) If you could see me right now, I’m totally making a disgusted face AT myself. Who am I?!
I guess it’s natural. Priorities change as you get older. I’m sure I’m nowhere near the finish line of personality and priority changes in my life, I’m only 31. But when I think back just 10 years, I was 21 – living out my senior year of college. President of my sorority, editor of the student newspaper, intern extraordinaire, babysitter of the year, 3.8 GPA. I seemed to be doing it all so well, and I don’t remember ever feeling this tired. I guess life has a way of sneaking up on you – taking you by surprise. Maybe working on a college campus amongst all these energetic and never-stop-to-rest students, I’m constantly reminded that that time in my life is over. And it makes me sort of sad.
Until I remember all those papers. And the friend drama. And the boy drama. And being totally broke all the time and not having a kitchen or any private place for just me. And maybe, it’s a worthy swap, after all.
Being a grown up can be pretty good – maybe I just need to embrace nap time again.