My body is sore today, and I am loving it. You know that feeling you get when you’ve pushed yourself hard but you know you are doing the right thing? That’s the way I’m feeling today. I am enjoying being pushed in new ways, it’s been awhile since I’ve pushed myself out of a comfort zone. But doing my three workouts so far this week – I know I’m on my way to a totally new adventure this summer and it’s exciting! And it’s also got me thinking about who I’ve become during this journey already.
Yesterday as I was coming home home – totally sweaty from teaching my TurboKick class, I started thinking about how much more often we do laundry in our house because my husband and I both workout basically everyday. I was also thinking about how late it always is by the time we get home and eat and it crossed my mind that I spend a good portion of my free time everyday working out. That’s what I do basically everyday after work. I get up in the mornings on Saturdays now to ride my bike. Even when I was finished with my workout on Monday, I opened my new TurboKick round I just received in the mail so i could watch it to see what was in store for me to learn next. It’s weird, or at least it feels weird when I think about this being ME I’m talking about.
I was never into “fitness” growing up. And I never envisioned myself as the type of person who would want to be a fitness instructor, or to be encouraging other people to be more active in their daily lives. I always thought that to be THAT kind of person, I would have to have like 2% body fat and be ripped for anyone to listen to me. But I am not the ideal body type, I still have weight to lose, and I make mistakes every week when it comes to making good choices in eating and keeping up my workouts. So why should I have a say in any of this?
Then I look around and realize that people are motivated because it’s nice to see someone who has the same struggles as you – you can relate. Someone who is encouraging you to keep up the hard work because they are working hard to meet their goals, too. I am most motivated by the people in my life who are working just as hard as I am – who have goals just like mine. The people who haven’t met their goals yet…but are a work in progress. Those are the people who’s voices sound most clear to me. And perhaps, that is who finds inspiration in my journey as well.
I am definitely a work in progress – and I will probably always be working toward a new goal. I’m okay with that – because having goals is what keeps me working hard. Not that I believe you should never be happy with yourself – but you should always be finding ways to improve; I don’t believe that work is ever finished.
But I’m realizing that life is happening right now, in this moment and I’m not going to wait to finally start living my life once I lose weight – because I’m living it RIGHT now, and I have reasons to be proud of my accomplishments in this very moment.
I’m feeling good about my summer push challenge, I know it’s only a few days in, but I’m sort of giddy about it. Like, nervous and excited at the same time. Almost like I’m not sure what I’m getting into, but I have a feeling it’s going to be an interesting adventure. Over the past few years, my life is just totally different & I haven’t really processed this change in myself till lately. How I spend my time, my priorities – everything has changed and sometimes I have these moments, like yesterday when I realize I have ALREADY changed during this process and it makes me so proud of myself.
The one shocking thought that crossed my mind after I thought about all the extra laundry, and getting home late every night was “Oh my gosh, I think working out is my hobby.”
That is a pretty amazing realization for me – I mean, really? Are these words coming out of MY mouth? Coming from a background where physical activity wasn’t really pushed, eating healthy wasn’t really part of my lifestyle…and now I’m 30 and I can say that working out is something I choose to do on my own because I enjoy it? Yes, I think that’s right. I mean, I knew this all along…this process of trying to become a better version of myself is a mental AND physical challenge. I think I’m having a break though.
It’s like: Wait a minute, who am I?
Oh, I know – I’m actually the girl I always wanted to be, I just hadn’t realized it till now.