I recently got glasses. I don’t have to wear them all the time and it’s not an intense prescription, but something to help me with distance viewing – like when I’m driving or in a meeting and looking at a presentation board that may be far away. It’s weird to wear them even though it’s not all the time. As I was driving yesterday, I kept reminding myself…look THROUGH the glasses. I kept not trusting myself when I was looking quickly behind me to see if I could pass a car safely on the highway. Sometimes it felt like the glasses were in the way.
But as I “practiced” looking through my glasses versus just looking over them at signs, it was 100% true that the glasses made things clearer. It sharpened the edges and it made me confident of the letters/numbers I was seeing instead of being pretty sure that “this is my exit” sort of thing. Again, the eye doctor said I was completely fine without glasses, but they would help me see things sooner and of course, clearer. I just need to learn to trust them, I suppose.
For those of you who are wear glasses/contacts all the time, you probably think I am a crazy person, talking about needing to prove to myself the glasses do indeed help me see better. But as I was doing this little scientific experiment on my drive home, it made me think about how I do this all the time in my personal life as well. Even though I’m certain that doing certain things will help me be better, meet my goals, etc., I often don’t trust the process and look for alternatives in case I find doing it in a different way would be easier or more effective. In the end, I would say I waste my own time and energy pursuing alternatives that aren’t really effective for me.
To lose weight, I’ve basically been given a prescription for lack of better words. I know how many calories I’m supposed to eat, I know how many calories I’m supposed to be burning everyday. I know what TYPES of food I’m supposed to be eating…and NOT eating and I’ve been told how often to eat. Yet, I’ve spent the last 4 months trying to beat the system in a lot of ways. What the heck is my problem? Again, it brings me back to my need to view alternative perspectives. Instead of just doing what I need to be doing (trust the process), I keep looking over and under and around the path I need to be on.
I felt like that was a pretty big epiphany to have yesterday. I’ve talked to many people before about self-sabotage and it’s impact on goal setting. I definitely suffer from this. But as I’ve continued to play out this theory in my head about KNOWING the right perspective and the ability to actually follow through on that path…I realized that in my head for whatever CRAZY person reason – I’m still living in maintenance mode.
You know, the place where you are at a decent place and you can splurge a little bit and make up for it with an extra workout to keep you in the “good zone.” I was in that place for a nice period of time, and even though it wasn’t my perfect goal weight, it was a place where I felt pretty confident and happy with myself. But I am certainly not there anymore, and I need to wake up and smell the dirty, rotten truth that I have to change my mind about where I am right now.
Sure, I work out on a regular basis, and I try and eat well during the week. But that’s not enough. I have to push myself harder to get to the next level if I am really serious about finishing this “ThirtyStory” journey. I really shouldn’t indulge in a high fat treat or snack every other day because I’m in WEIGHT LOSS MODE, not maintenance mode. Where is the switch that will turn my brain back on?
I know what I need to do. I can clearly see it, I just have to TRUST the vision, trust the process and ultimately trust myself to keep working at it, even if it feels weird, scary, or harder than it should be at times. Finally, a fresh perspective.