Monthly Archives: January 2012

The Cold Front

Well, it’s Tuesday and I’m finally back at work after a week of vacation and one sick day. And yes, I really was sick (am still sick) yesterday and didn’t decide to extend my vacation. If you don’t believe me, ask my last student appointment – you know the one where I went into a coughing fit and had to go stand on the other side of my office for a few minutes to try and gather myself to talk more. I eventually resorted to writing down ideas for resume edits and asking if she liked them. *sigh* I hate being sick when my main role is to talk to people!

I did go to my chiropractor yesterday as I had scheduled a Monday morning visit because I figured after a week of sleeping in a strange bed, I would want an adjustment right away. Well, when 7am rolled around yesterday, as much as I needed an adjustment I was feeling awful. I called my Doctor and he convinced me to still come in but let me come in later in the day. He said that when we are sick, we should actually get more adjustments so our body was in the best place possible to get better. He also did some sinus work on me which was weird but good. I’ll be going back on Friday.

After a week in Mexico, indulging in countless fruity drinks and unlimited bacon and guacamole every morning….I definitely am ready to get back on track this week. Of course, being sick over the weekend and what not has not helped because I’ve just felt pretty bland and have been eating mostly soup. But at least it is healthy soup.

I’ll be honest – going to an all inclusive and being full of self control was impossible for me. I am too easily tempted by vacation mentality and I guess I really gave in to the idea that it was a once every year or so vacation and I wasn’t going to guilt trip myself about every bite. We did work out a few days, and went on a 2 hour bike trip (more leisurely than a work out, although the heat made you sweat like it was P90X)…but it was better than being completely sedentary all week (i.e. 4 hour naps out in the veranda).

About 3 or so days into our vacation, I started missing my food routine. While I absolutely LOVE to go out to eat – eating out every meal for a whole week was taking it’s toll on my body. This is the girl who grew up going out to eat almost every day. My family’s version of “meal time” was to meet at a fast food joint or the Mexican place before we went on with our evenings.

But with my current food routine – I don’t feel like I’m being starved to death and in fact have difficulty eating everything I’m supposed to eat everyday. The food was really good at the resort – don’t get me wrong. But it’s like anything…too much of a good thing is no good! By the end of the week I was more than ready to get back to our healthy cooking and having (way) less drinks. I don’t drink all the time, so having several days in a row where everywhere you go starting at breakfast you have drinks shoved into your face was a bit of a drastic change. By the end of the week, I was having trouble wearing my rings because of all the extra sodium.

It’s weird – because last time I went to a resort, I don’t remember having these feelings. I don’t remember looking forward to home cooked healthy meals upon our return. I’d like to think that I’ve somehow hit a turning point in my life over the last year. That maybe I’ve finally started to realize what works for my body, what keeps me on the healthy track and how bad it feels when I stray too far for too long. That after all these years of wanting to enjoy healthy habits, maybe I finally am there.

Part of my goals for myself this year was to become the best version of me…and I’m really happy to see this glimmer of true change.

 

 

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The Last Resort (with pics!)

Stairway to Vacation

Well, vacation has somehow already passed and while I’m glad to be home in some ways I will miss living a life of luxury and having a no guilt attitude for a few days. We went to Secrets Silversands Resort in Cancun, Mexico. It is an all-inclusive and adults only, so there was no sharing the hot tub with middle schoolers or anything like that which I was happy about.

We wanted to do one last horrah trip because we figure life will only get more busy, more complicated and all that jazz…so we just wanted to have a good time and enjoy ourselves for a week away from all those responsibilities. It was much needed, and I think coming back – we are more excited about what’s next for us!

We had really nice weather for most of the week and while we didn’t do a whole lot other than drink fruity drinks and eat delicious food….we did take a FEW pictures. I’ll admit that I felt guilty about not even bringing our camera to our  vacation so the last few days I went around a took a few pics of the resort for your viewing pleasure.

Main building - modern hang out area

Lobby Bar

 

 

One thing that we loved about the resort was how modern it was. Everything
was really posh and we were impressed with the feel of the place.

 

 

 

 

Our room

 

The room was a junior suite swim out – so we had a pool right outside our back porch area.

 

 

 

 

 

View from our room - pool and ocean

 

I was really surprised at the view – we didn’t choose the most expensive room option, so I wasn’t expecting something amazing…but my jaw dropped when we opened the back door and saw this view! Amazing backdrop for afternoon naps, conversation over champagne and putting your feet in the water.

 

 

 

 

Birthday champagne and dessert

 

It was my hubby’s 32nd birthday while we were there, and the resort brought us a bottle of champagne and delicious brownie/cake thing to help us celebrate. He also got a sign on our door (even if it was a day late).

The birthday boy!

 

 

 

 

We also enjoyed all the bar options while we were there, although if you just sat somewhere for long enough, one of the wait staff would come over and encourage you to order a drink. I had a few favorites during the week including things called SuperMan, Miami Vice, Mudslide and even a shot called Sh*t in the grass (really.).

Midori Sour with fruit garnish

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And of course the resort itself was very well taken care of, and the pools (there was pool in front of every building..plus a main pool) were a little nippy this time of year, but after a few minutes in the hot soon, it felt refreshing.

Pool in front of our room

 

Right outside our door we had a pool, a grill type restaurant and a bar. Dangerous!

 

 

 

 

 

A few more pics:

Hot tub - this was a popular hang out spot

Another outdoor bar with steps down to the ocean

The main pool

Our last day we came back to the room to find towel swans 🙂

A little sunburned, but happy!

All in all, it was a successful trip. Now it’s almost time to go back to work which will be a big smack in the face considering I somehow went to a tropical place and caught a cold. So I’m sort of hating life right now with a sore throat, stuffy/runny nose, sneezing and all those other things mentioned on the Nyquil label. Thinking sunny thoughts because after a week off from work, I don’t think I can take a sick day!

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A few things before I go…

Well, we are mostly packed. I am so ready for vacation especially with the nasty bit of weather we’ve had here lately. It rained most of today despite my attempt to get summer-ized. But now it’s 6:16pm and my toes are painted, my bags are packed and I’m enjoying a glass of wine in preparation for our travels tomorrow.

Obviously i won’t be around for the next week to entertain you with my posts. But in the meantime, I wish you a week full of good decisions, awesome workouts, and lots of sunshine wherever you are.

My goal for this week is to enjoy myself, enjoying spending time with my husband so we can celebrate a little over a year of marriage and his 32nd birthday. I brought workout clothes and shoes and plan to do something active every day while i’m there! I plan to eat some fun food, drink some girly drinks and meet some cool peoples.

A special thanks to our neighbors and family for helping out with the pups and watching our house while we are away. I would promise to have beautiful pictures for you upon my return, but let’s face it – i don’t even know where the camera is and i wont have my phone on me unless I can turn all the text/call/data stuff off so i can just use it as a camera.

Catch you upon my return……be happy!

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Who is ready for flip flop and skirt weather?

This girl! Vaca tomorrow!

image

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January 21, 2012 · 6:28 pm

Finding your voice and letting it speak

For the last week or so – I’ve been a roller coaster of emotions. I’m sure you noticed from my high/low posts. I couldn’t figure out what was going on – hormones? Stress?

Last night as I was replaying a stressful work event to my husband, and he tells me I’ve been really overly emotional all week and sensitive about things. I had to agree. I mean, insert any radio song with a slow beat and I’m halfway in tears.

As I was getting ready for bed last night – it struck me. I knew why I was feeling all emotional. I regularly go to the chiropractor and the last time I went he did this adjustment that I really hate. Since I didn’t go to school to be a chiropractor, I’m at a loss for all the terminology and I promise to be a better patient next time and listen more…..but….

Basically, there is a correlation between this spot on your head (right near your temple is the best place I can describe it) and your coccyx (commonly referred to as tailbone). From what I can gather – central nervous system starts and ends in these two places…and apparently, my coccyx keeps showing up as needing an adjustment. So whenever I hear this news from my Doc – I’m not happy because I know that means he’s going to do an adjustment near my temple as well…and I have to be honest, it’s not pleasant.

The last few times when he did this adjustment, he gave me a warning that sometimes this adjustment makes people feel more emotional. He said it could good and bad at the same time, but often it was emotions that needed to be dealt with. I hadn’t really noticed feeling overly emotional (apparently, my body and mind is stubborn). But after my week of being so emotional about things this time around, I realized that this adjustment played a role in how I’ve been feeling this past week.

It’s crazy how your body is so interconnected, and how even our emotions and how we feel can create physical issues in our body. Stressful days lead to headaches or a backache. Anxiety can bring on feelings of nausea. And apparently, having your tailbone adjuststed makes you more emotional.

I prefer to have a rational reason for feeling emotional other than just “having a moment.” So when I went to the chiropractor today, I told him that I was angry with him for bringing out all those emotions this week when I wasn’t really in a place to deal with them. He said to me that apparently my body DID want me to deal with those emotions, or it wouldn’t keep showing up as needing adjustments.

I find all this very fascinating and infuriating at the same time. Sort of this combo of body and mind and how everything impacts the next thing whether we want it to or not.

And it made me angry at first that I was feeling all these emotions, but now I’m so glad that I had this blog so I could finally write them out and express myself – because just doing that had a positive impact and I’m feeling so much better about the situation and feel like I have ideas to make things better and improve my circumstances.

So many times we have emotions or feelings about things and we push them away because they feel too big for us, or they make us feel overwhelmed and under-qualified for the job of “fixing things.” But maybe when we do have those feelings, just allowing ourselves to feel it, and express it can be a major step toward finding resolution. If we aren’t willing to be open to something changing, how will we ever know if it can change, or how it would feel if it did change?

I don’t like being overly weepy or dramatic, but this last week forced me to get in touch with how I was feeling. It made me stop and focus on myself in a different light and I really did need to do that and feel much better now that I have. Sometimes we get SO busy, we forget to listen to what our body and minds need.

Sometimes the nourishment doesn’t come from food or drink, but just from being quiet and letting yourself be in the moment and accepting that you sometimes have feelings and emotions that aren’t pleasant but still need to be voiced in order to move on.

Thank you for letting me voice those things here, and I promise to not make my reader’s a punching bag TOO often so I don’t scare you away. 🙂

To happiness and health!!

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And these are a few of my favorite things….

I am so looking forward to a few things (I know you are now singing gumdrops and roses and shiny patent kittens song – I admit I can’t remember the words. I’ve also never watched the movie. Insert your shocked face here).

Anywayyyyyyy…..

Here’s a peak at my list:

1) Leaving for a much needed vacation this next week. Mexico – I’m ready!

2) This week to be over so I can just think about my vacation.

3) This day to be over so I can be one day closer to leaving for my vacation.

4) Is it Friday at 5pm yet?

 

You could say I have the pre-vacation blues. Everything pales in comparison to the idea of not being at work, not having to make decisions (other than “on the rocks or frozen”), and not having to deal with things that I just don’t want to deal with right now.

I am a LITTLE nervous about vacation and my daily goals of trying to eat healthy. We planned this vacation way back in October as a late anniversary get away and I had hopeful thoughts that I’d already be back to a “normal” weight by now. I was wrong. But – goals aren’t achieved overnight – it’s day-by-day perseverance. I hadn’t even dreamed up my new eating plan then – so obviously a week of all inclusive style living isn’t really “on plan.”

But I’m bringing my work out clothes and it will be my goal to work out while I’m there to help combat the extra calories I’ll be consuming. Another goal is to still abide by my rule of not eating when I’m not hungry, stopping before I’m stuffed, etc. So hopefully these things well help out. In the end, it’s so rare that I take a for real vacation where I’m going somewhere beautiful and fun and I’m not going to spend my days writing down calories and exchanges. I’m just going to enjoy my time off, and recharge my batteries so to speak.

I’m in definite need of a recharge. I’ve been feeling highly emotional lately, and I think I’m just feeling stressed out, burnt out and all of those other nasty words that impact productivity. I have to be proud of myself though – because instead of eating a bunch of stuff I’m not supposed to eat in reaction to this feeling – I’ve just continued to follow along with my plan and not eat “on the go.” So that is a major PLUS for me right now.

Breaking old habits is so hard, and it would be so typical for me to feel sorry for myself and splurge on a milkshake or something delicious like that. So brownie points for me! (they should really change that saying – it makes me hungry).

Okay, lunch break is almost over and I really need to get back to my pining away for my vacation to begin.

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You’ve Lost that loving feeling and its….

Gone, gone gone.

Righteous Brothers, anyone?

Well, this isn’t about my marriage or anything – so no worries there even though I know that song is about a relationship losing its tenderness.

Sometimes I feel this way just about life in general – i know, that sounds so “woe is me.” But have you ever just had a day (or more) where you just can’t seem to muster up that loving feeling about things that used to make you pretty happy?

I go through these major phases of Loving Life! and then….moments of – what else is there…(aka I’m Bored).

Not bored because I’m not busy. Not bored because i don’t have anything else better to do. Just bored because sometimes it all feels the same.

As I’m writing this blog and editing it – I realize maybe it’s not BOREDOM….but maybe it is a realization that I’m missing something that I used to have.

It’s hard not to get into a rut with life sometimes. I get inspired some days and I feel so amazing and I can’t help but want to shout from the blogosphere how I’m feeling and encourage everyone else to get out there and DO Something. But then I just have some days where I’m not feeling it.

These emotions swept over me all in a hurry last night.

One of my best friends had a birthday yesterday, and I met him and a bunch of other people out for dinner. It was so great to see everyone – I feel like I hadn’t seen some of them in forever, and as I was leaving the restaurant and walking to my car I called “bye!” and no one responded. And i just walked to my car feeling unnoticed and unheard. And on the drive home, I started wondering if I’m losing a piece of myself. Have I accidentally transitioned into some different phase of my life where I’m not a part of my old life anymore? Did everyone else notice and not tell me that I was slipping away?

Ultimately, I kept replaying things in my head and wondering “Did I do something wrong?”

I don’t know. It just makes me impossibly sad and I can’t put my finger on what to do. On one hand, so many new chapters in my life have been opened over the past few years, and I’m so happy in many ways.  But what about those chapters that you don’t want to be closed? The people that you still want to love you as much as you love them? And you want it to be effortless and to have that feeling of “this will never go away.” You don’t want to be a stranger.

I don’t want to be a stranger.

But maybe it’s impossible to have every chapter of your life open at the same time?

That’s not life, is it? That’s not how anyone’s story goes, and some people call it “growing up” – but if that’s the  case, then I just don’t want to. I want that loving feeling back. And I desperately want to be a part of things, and feel included like I used to be…but I’ve forgotten how.  I sort of feel like I’m Peter Pan from the movie Hook where he forgets all about Neverland and how to fly.

Do I remember by just believing? Or is the damage already done and I can never go back?

And if I do, could it be the same?

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